- Anne Boleyn: You know I sometimes wish that all Spaniards were at the bottom of the sea.
- Katharine of Aragon's Lady in Waiting: Mistress Boleyn, you should not abuse the Queen's honor with such language!
- Anne Boleyn: I care nothing for Katherine. I would rather see her hanged than acknowledge her as my mistress!
- One word...BURN!!!
So today I walked into class, like any other day. I took a seat and prepared for the lecture, like any other day. But it was not any other day. Today we were going to be talking about the Tudor Dynasty. I WAS BEYOND EXCITED. I LOVE THE TUDORS. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. The class was for 90 minutes. 90 minutes of the Tudors. Sounds great right?
WRONG. There were SO MANY historical inaccuracies I wanted to vomit. She was all like “guys Scotland was a Catholic nation with a Catholic queen. And Anne and Henry’s marriage lasted for about 5 years. Catherine of Aragon had Mary then a son that died.”
EDUW5SRXJGCLFUROEI5WUSRJXGCHVUP7ROEITSJXGCKJLITO6IEURSXJGKHVJIOITDJGCKJI;UOYITDJGCKHKYDT HOW DOES ONE PROCESS THIS FUCKERY?
*Scotland was Protestant. Their queen Mary Stuart was Catholic and spent the earlier years of her life in France living as the Dauphine of France and then as the Queen of France and finally the Queen Dowager of France, which is when she took control of the Scottish government. She said that she would allow the Scottish people to remain Protestant if they would let her be Catholic. At first it worked fine. But then it didn’t and Mary got more and more unpopular. She was then deposed from the Scottish throne and fled to England to seek the help of her first cousin one removed Elizabeth I. Elizabeth initially agreed to restore Mary but Mary would never be restored and was beheaded for treasonous acts after thirteen years of living in England.
*The marriage of King Henry VIII of England and Anne Boleyn lasted for about 2 years 11 months and 21 days (give or take depending on when you consider them legally married) which is 1086 days. This is why she is commonly referred to as ‘Anne of a Thousand Days.’ How does one get 5 years from this?
*Ok. Wife numbers one and two are my FAVORITES (yeah I like Katharine and Anne, deal with it). And something that really pisses me off is when people write Catherine of Aragon. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. SHE SPELLED HER NAME WITH A GOD DAMN K. Yes I am fully aware that first names in the sixteenth century did not have an exact spelling. But the letter ‘C’ was not used to begin names of Kings and Queens because C represented 100 in Latin. And Katharine of Aragon physically spelled her first name with a K! She spelled it Katherine, Katharine, Katherin, Katharina and Kateryn. All with a K. I prefer to use Katharine, if you like another spelling WONDERFUL. As long as it is spelled with a K. MOVING ON…Katharine conceived an undisputed 6 times throughout her 20 year marriage to Henry VIII (some sources site up to 15). The first was a daughter, miscarried or stillborn, January 31, 1510. Next was Henry (often called Henry, Duke of Cornwall because the child was never formally invested as Prince of Wales). He lived January 1, 1511 to February 23, 1511. Next was a stillborn son, October ? 1513. Then there was another Henry called Henry Duke of Cornwall; early December 1514 to late December 1514. Then followed her only surviving child for more than 53 days, Princess Mary Tudor who would become the first undisputed Queen Regnant of England, often called Bloody Mary. Then came another daughter; November 10, 1518 to about November 13, 1518. Some sources site that the child was named Isabel or Isabella in honor of Katharine’s mother Isabel of Castile, but the child died almost certainly unchristened. Katharine would not conceive again.
I truly felt cheated at life. I have to sit through more of this UTTER BULLSHIT tomorrow as well….so to warp it up in the only word I can possibly conceive that accurately describes this situation…moo.
- Katharine of Aragon: While my husband lives, I am his wife. His own one true wife.
- Henry VIII: I can bring a hundred learned men to prove that you are not my wife!
- Katharine of Aragon: Bring your hundred learned men! I can bring a thousand learned men from all over Europe to prove that I am you wife, I always have been your wife, and always will be!
On the show Anne Boleyn said this when she learned of the death of her predecessor, Katharine of Aragon. And the only thing I could think was ‘Yes you are queen. But for how long? A day? A week? A month? Two? Three? Then you’re dead.’